Cafe Simulator 2000

Cafe Simulator 2000 is an interactive fiction game which presents the mundanity of a cafe work. Anyone who has worked in hospitality knows the pain of having to deal with customers every day, and it is so often a means for earning money while looking for something else. The empty space between for the self-employed, or a summer job for a student, serving others good coffee and mediochre food fills a financial hole while draining you of energy, time, and patience.

The cafe is like my home- Let me explain. My friends are there. We shout across the room to each other, singing duets of our favourite show tunes (when the shop is closed, of course). The chores include sweeping, mopping, hauling dirty dishes up and down the stairs 13 times a day. Sorting out the cake display. Logging temperatures. Cleaning fridges. I know where the napkins are kept, the coffee cups, the coke cans. I know what to do when the toilet blocks (call someone else) and what to do when the coffee grinder gets stuck (turn it off and on again). I know the bin collection schedule and how much we get fined if the bins are left out during the day. I know what to say on the phone and never to give out anyone else's number. All of this knowledge to serve £1500 worth of people per day. I know my head is not a KEEP CUP, and it can't be filled up to the top so the lid doesn't go on without spilling milk over the counter. I know, knowing one thing doesn't push out another. But I can't help but wonder if my life could ever change when I don't have the energy, the time, or the patience to alter it. When every day off is spent in bed. And the hours I have after finishing work in the evening is spent cooking and eating dinner and suddenly its 9pm. Whoever said there aren't enough hours in the day was right. Whoever said time is money was wrong. I give all my time, and I still don't have enough money.

So I find joy in making stupid little latte art gremlins to adorn the tops of my stupid little lattes and I live off of watching people take photos of them. That has become my art practice now.

Cafe Simulator 2000 is an interactive fiction game. Type instructions and your player will attempt to action them. You can use the following functions: look/look at [coffee], make [coffee], east/west, drink [coffee], and help.

(Interactive Fiction is a very old style of computer game and I am not very experienced in programming. Therefore, the best way to play is to keep commands simple and not make any spelling mistakes! Start with "look at drinks menu" or "make a latte")